EURIX or the European Rigger and Model Exchange is a biannual event that has been happening for 5 years now. For people involved and invested in bondage, it is THE event, especially if you happen to be in Europe. First time I heard about it was a year ago when my play partner at the time wouldn’t shut up about shibari and EURIX. That led to my first session as a model and first tries as a rigger, and now a year later I go to classes regularly and tie with different people both as a rigger and model. The story about me getting into shibari and how it incredibly helped me deal with my sobriety I shared as part of an art project about sobriety and Berlin at Angles Media collective. You can read it here along with the drawings Peter Wood did during a session with my rope partner. Truth is, I don't think I would have been able to stay sober if it wasn't for shibari, and it has a huge importance at this point in my life. Therefore I was incredibly excited to participate in the 13th edition of EURIX this October. I had no idea what to expect, and approached the event with excitement and curiosity, but also nervousness and a bit of anxiety. As someone who is new to rope, I was worried people will be way too advanced and I won’t be able to keep up. And yes - a lot of people were very advanced, and some of the workshops were showing techniques and practices I felt unprepared to execute and I didn’t. But also everything was happening in the sense of an exchange, people were helping each other and were genuinely interested in what others know and want to share. And in case something felt too advanced, one could just chill and watch without feeling pressured into doing anything. It was a sex-positive and a safe space to express your sexuality, which really resonated with my values on destigmatizing everything sexual. It is an amazing and incredibly intense experience, and it took me almost a week to recover emotionally and physically, but also to process everything I learned. And this included ways to deal with pain as a model, different bondage forms serving diverse purposes, harnesses, tension, and friction techniques, and rigger and model dynamics. For beginners, there is also a week-long beginners course. I met with the person behind EURIX Felix Ruckert and we had a chat about bondage, sex-positive spaces, and what is his personal connection to rope.

How did you start with rope?

That was about 1999, so twenty years ago. I got confronted with images of Shibari, because I was working in Japan as a choreographer. At the time I was several times invited to Japan, to teach dance and work with Japanese dance companies. So I discovered bondage magazines there, just pictures full of people being tied. I found it really beautiful and surprising and kind of hot. I bought a whole bunch of them. When I went back to Europe I started tying up my girlfriend at the time. Just experimenting with rope, because there were no classes really at the time. I really just worked from the pictures first, just copying and trying to imagine the rest, what I could not see on the pictures, sometimes of course hard to figure out. But that was actually a good school. I was lucky because I mostly worked with dancers, so I worked with people who had a certain knowledge of the body and that helped a lot. It was all trial and error: to find out what works and what doesn't. Then, just one or two years later also I made the first contact with a rigger in Berlin - Hagen who is also presenting at EURIX this time. He is one of the first guys in Berlin who did rope bondage. Then I also met Matthias T.J. Grimme from Hamburg, who is an editor of a big SM magazine. He was the most known bondage guy in Germany at the time. I also connected with him and through him and Hagen I met Osada Steve and learned a bit from all of them.

Do you feel like the scene is growing? Here in Germany?

Absolutely. Yeah. As I said, twenty years ago in Berlin there were maybe five or six people doing rope. And now there are several thousand I would estimate. I mean, there are two regular (bondage) jams every week, there are tons of classes everywhere, lots of private teaching. Most of these people have been connected with Schwelle7 in one way or another because I started doing rope workshops there from 2007 on - with Japanese and international teachers. So I know lots of rope people here in Berlin, and this puts me, of course, in a good position to organize this event. In Europe, it is the same thing. Everywhere people open little dojos, you have rope spaces and events even in smaller cities in Germany such as Leipzig or Ahaus.

*mi and joshu*

What is Eurix?

Well, as the name says it's the European Rigging Exchange or Riggers and Models Exchange. It actually started five years ago when I still had Schwelle7 and I organized many workshops with Japanese masters coming over to Germany. And people from all over Europe started coming to Schwelle to learn there because it was one of the first places in Europe that brought Japanese masters. Then sometimes the Japanese masters would say, "Yeah, the people are so good here, I don't know what to teach them anymore". I mean, there was a lot of skill development in Europe and I thought, maybe it's the time now to make a festival for European bondage. Meaning - bringing together the people that I thought do really interesting things with rope that go beyond the traditional Japanese techniques. I brought these people together and it was really an exchange forum. In the beginning, we were just twenty, thirty people. I just invited riggers of top level to exchange and give workshops to each other. It was successful because there were a lot of very good people coming. Then intermediate level people asked if they could join, just to observe what people do and learn from that. And I thought “Yeah, why not? We could invite students who can pay a bit so we can finance the event better. Because originally EURIX was a totally non-profit event. Everyone came at their own expenses.

mi and joshu

Then it became this format and it grew rapidly in the last years, up to 300 people attending. Of course, that changed things. I mean, the general level of participant’s got a bit more towards the intermediate. So sometimes it became more of a school format: the invited presenters teach the students and there is a bit less just an exchange of experiences and practices on the same level. But there’s just a balance to find. I try my best to make it always interesting for the more advanced people and I am always open for suggestions. And generally it works, because there are still all these advanced people who come and many of the regular presenters join the event, even when they're not presenting themselves. Just to be there. Just to meet everyone and have fun.

What are the challenges? Now especially, when it's growing and it's getting bigger? Is there something specific that's proven to be difficult?

Well, in the beginning, of course, it was quite small so you could really meet everybody. There was a lot of interaction. Also, it was a lot like a little family. Everybody knew each other which was quite nice.

Now, half of the people that attend are new to the event. This creates several little problems which we have to handle. One, of course, is the general level that went down a bit. We always make it clear that we really try to focus on the advanced people and everybody else has to follow their level. But it is also not always easy to make it clear that great rope bondage is not just about technique and that we really wish to go beyond just learning Japanese style bondage: we're interested in development and to infuse Shibari with the specific knowledge of our European cultural heritage. And that means that I also program people that teach more than just bondage, people who teach related body practices such as bodywork, movement, and BDSM practices, theoretical approaches and performance skills, and other art practices. Then the presence of many newbies can create problems with safety. The new people, they come from all over Europe and we don't exactly know from what context they come from. At EURIX they enter a sex-positive and a kink-friendly space. So here we experiment with kink as well in connection to rope. But there are lots of schools in Europe where sex and kink do not play a big role or are even not welcome. For example, I heard from schools where there is no nudity allowed. Of course, people come from these places and schools and therefore they come with a different idea of what will happen. So some people might get surprised when they suddenly see people indulging in sexual activities or going into impact play or other SM practices. They're not used to that and might react a bit like: "Oh.“ So eventually overwhelmed and shocked. And the new people are not always familiar with the culture of consent that we have established here and eventually lack the communication skills which are essential to have if you enter a sex-positive space.

riggers: frllilly and seilartig; model: afsana

So that's why since a while we really put a lot of importance on teaching on consent. The first day we always have these consent workshops. I also developed written guidelines for negotiation, so that people that are not familiar with BDSM practices and negotiation and safewords and all of these tools have a chance to get a bit familiar with that before entering.

Can you talk a bit more about sex-positive spaces? Because you also do the xplore festival which is creating this idea of exploring in a sex-positive and safe space. Could you talk a bit more about what defines a sex-positive space?

As a general definition, sex-positive space is a space where all sexual activities are welcome and can be executed. Meaning you can have sex. You can ask for sex. You can be open about your sexuality. But that doesn't mean also that sex must happen, of course. You can be asexual as well, sex is just an option.

A sex-positive space most of all creates a big release. Because something that is always somehow present but under the carpet and in the air is suddenly addressed. Sex is allowed and its power acknowledged, and that makes it much easier to take a distance from it. To be relaxed about it. That's why I organize these events. It's always surprising for people that come for the first time, they say "Oh, it is so relaxed here, people are just so friendly and open." And I think that's part of this, sexuality needs a place because it is there anyway. And so it loses some of its power. It doesn’t make people nervous or frightened anymore, or on their guards.

But, it's also very gentle. Like, it's not aggressive. Makes sense to be that way. It's very logical.

Yeah, it is actually quite simple. It has to do with the concept of openness, of radical honesty. That everyone is allowed to say and show what they really want and then the other people can really respond to that and then say yes or no. Instead of people trying to hide their agenda. Obviously this needs courage and clarity, but in the end, it creates trust. Because you feel and understand the vulnerability of people and that helps to empathize with them.

Yeah, but it's difficult to discuss completely honestly our differences. Which, it's great if you are able to do it, It's a great progress. But, it's difficult.

I know. For me - that means for my sex-positive spaces - I created a list of specific qualities which I want the people to bring into that space - to make it a magical space. Magic, of course, is a word that comes from theater, we still use it in the theater. The magical space is a transformative space. Where things happen that have a real impact on the individual but also on society in a way. Where the individual becomes political and the political becomes aesthetic and the aesthetic becomes social and so on. This connection between all the layers of human interaction. And the qualities I defined, a lot of them come from theater or from art because the same qualities that are useful in sex-positive spaces also apply when creating art.

*humanchuo*

Basically, it's seven qualities, to name them roughly: Presence, Attitude, Determination, Resonance, Devotion, Humor, Grace. First, it's presence - in the sense of being aware of the time and the now. Being really in your acknowledgment of what is now. Then next is space, how do you relate to space? That means, how do you relate to other people - so this needs attention. It's about the attitude you take in the space and how you interact with other people on the spatial level, which is an emotional level, too. Then the next quality is determination as I call it, which has to do with courage, with clarity, with directness. Of being honest and clear in your actions so people can react to it. And then, the next is the resonance, which is actually being able to also read the reactions to your actions. It's exactly like doing rope bondage. You apply rope and then you see how it feels before you apply the next move. So there's always this quality of dialogue. It's like I ask a question and I get the answer, that is the resonance principle. And of course, it applies not just to a one on one situation, it also applies to a collective.

So, that's presence, attitude, determination, resonance and then I add usually devotion. Which is for me, not just in the context of dominant-submissive role play, but more general in the sense of being fully involved with what you do. Being really aware of nuances and details. Because that's a really decisive tool, when you top or when you tie someone, but also when you get tied and submit. It's these little things, like what is exactly the position you create, what exactly is the angle of a leg, where exactly do you apply the rope? Makes a huge difference, as does the devotion of someone that gets tied: How much are you aware and present? What do you express? Are you able to process? To let go? Reading your mind, reading your body and being focused. Of course, this is a very important quality when making art - the passion for something, the obsession, precision, and consequence. Then, I added humor, which I think especially important. It means to not be too strict about things. You have to allow for mistakes and acknowledge that shit happens and then be kind. Forgiving. You know we all make mistakes - there is no perfection. And especially - what do we do if shit happens, because it will happen? In rope, it can always happen. Then, do we react the same way like in the outer world where there are just punishment and more hatred, and escalation? Or are we able to also contain and resolve the difficult moments?

Basically, all these qualities must be embodied to some extent by the people that come to a sex-positive space and this collective body will impose and watch over these qualities. This is what I try to create here during Eurix and xplore. All my events always run under the guidelines of these qualities, even so, there are not written on the wall. This is my lecture about the qualities. Of course in the smaller events where there are more people that come regularly, it is easier. In bigger spaces like here and xplore, it's important to impose it a bit more. That's, of course, an ongoing process. So my sex-positive space is really quite specific space and often the magic works. I think that's what people appreciate here and why they come to my events.

What is bondage to you? What do you get from it?

Personally, I really enjoy bondage as a creative act, which is at the same time a dialogue between two human beings. The fascination is that it is personal interaction and at the same time an artistic process. If it is a really good session, it has an emotional content, it is a relationship and its meaningful expression in time and space.

As a choreographer that's something that really interests me. I was always directing people and placing them in space, creating this kind of time-space-body events and provoke the emotions that come with them. This is a strong personal passion and skill.

As for many other people it has to do with pride. The pride of being in control. The pride of creating. That's sort of one part, when you tie, this experience of facilitating an experience.

*riggers: frllilly and seilartig; model: afsana*

Then, there is often a strong erotic side to it as well. It might turn you on. You might find it beautiful. You might get high on endorphins and oxytocin. There are all these physical rewards. Some people tie with the same partner because they want to go somewhere specific. Me, I personally tie with a lot of very different partners because I find that very inspiring. Because I don't know exactly what it's going to be like. There is this fascination, to find out where does this want to go? What's the right bondage for that person? I rarely tie standard patterns, so for every person, I try to make something unique and to use the knowledge that I have individually, in order to make it specific and personal for that person. It's kind of like finding the key to that door. When you open it emotions will come and you never know what might happen. Some people get very relaxed. Some people get very excited. Some get horny. Some get very calm, angry or sad. That's all, only from the top perspective of course.

On the submissive side (which I experience less often than I would like because I'm a bit spoiled in a way because I got tied by very good people and so I am a bit „difficult“...) I even sometimes prefer to get tied by a beginner, because there's this charm of the naivety and spontaneity, and I can direct them from the inside creating the scene I need. But of course, there is also this strong wish to just let go of control. That I can let go of creativity. That it's not me that has to design my body. Someone else does it for me. That I don't have to worry about what happens. Someone else takes care of that. This is really a big release in a way. Then, of course, the physical sensations are super interesting. It can potentially be done in a very healthy way if it stretches your body if it opens your body. If it's well done and the rope gives you the right pressure on the right points it can really feel like a deep massage or become a deep emotional experience.

It's interesting to be challenged physically. Dealing with pain and not just the pain because there are also other emotions. The fear of being out of control. The fear of being vulnerable. The fear of being exposed. Of course, if you choose consciously to confront yourself with these negative feelings you learn a lot about yourself and it's a very liberating process. That's the fun part.

All photos by me

Lede image by Marie de Beaucourt